If you’ve ever wondered why a person just doesn’t seem to warm up to you, there’s a book for that.
Michelle Tillis Lederman’s “The 11 Laws of Likeability: Relationship Networking” theorizes how people come to the assumption that they like someone, and how you can make yourself more likeable. Below are Lederman’s “laws”, which are intended to apparently help you get ahead in your career by knowing how to be likeable and thus reaping the benefit from it:
•The Law of Authenticity: The real you is the best you.
•The Law of Self-Image: Before you can expect others to like you, you have to like you.
•The Law of Perception: Perception is reality. How you perceive others is your reality about them, and the same is true for them of you.
•The Law of Energy: Energy is contagious. What we give off is what we get back.
•The Law of Curiosity: Curiosity creates connections.
•The Law of Listening: You have to listen to understand
•The Law of Similarity: People like people like them
•The Law of Mood Memory: People are more apt to remember how you made them feel than what you said.
•The Law of Familiarity: People feel comfortable with who and what they know.
•The Law of Giving: Give first. Do because you can, and because giving creates value.
•The Law of Patience: Give it time, things happen.
While seemingly true, these laws are superficial to a nauseating degree. They are not helpful because the traits are nothing you can easily change about yourself. Tips such as showering daily, pressing your clothes and recognizing personal space would prove more helpful. Taking a general assessment of yourself to determine how you fall into these laws may be a start at becoming more likeable, but you’d risk becoming a completely plastic personality. When you go out of your way to say, ensure you are fulfilling Law #3, whomever you are interviewing with may be under the impression you are mocking them.
Ideally, the most helpful and honest law would be #1, The Law of Authenticity: The Real You is the Best You. If you aren’t especially patient, you ultimately can’t hide it, so trying to change that trait about you and then failing miserably will lead a potential employer to question your motives and true identity. Why apply for a job that requires face-to-face customer interaction for eight hours a day when you don’t listen very well? The only person you’ll end up hurting is yourself.